Day 4- workout day 1

Man oh Man. Feeling really crappy right now. My poor body. Makes me so sad that I have abused this body for so many years. So much that on my first day of working out with a trainer, I feel like I can pass out. I'm sure its a combo of things. The elevation(8,500 above sea level) and probably mainly the fact that I haven't worked out in over a year. I cried walking home. I can remember even being a little heavy and being able to workout and loving it. I can feel my body tingling so I know its happy, but I had to cry it out in on my walk home and in the shower. The gym is literally 5 blocks away, so I walk there and I walk back. I almost had to take a taxi home. So damn weak. My blood pressure just dropped to the floor. Wanting to throw up and needing to take it slow and have a seat a couple times, but I made it home.
Although I feel crappy, I'm proud of myself. I started an aspect of my life that I want to excel at. I wanna be awesome at working out. I can't wait to see the results. Even just not being so out of breathe or being able to push myself more and more. Not to mention that I also signed up for these special massages, which is specifically for weight loss. Ummmm, ouch!!!! They literally take your fat and try to rub it out. I wanted to punch this lady in the face lol. She also rubbed this oil on me and wrapped me in seran wrap. Yea I said it, seran wrap. It was so interesting. Then I lay down and she puts all these heated blankets on me so that I sweat like a madwoman. Even though it hurt and It makes me wanna hurt her, I'll be back tomorrow. LOL.
Anyways, my trainer is awesome. His name is Fabian and super supportive and understanding. I even got the compliment that everything he made me do, was in perfect form. He says he can tell I've worked out before. I know my body will catch on quickly. This is something I want to be addicted to. I wanna crave it. If I'm going to be addicted to anything, might as well be something that'll keep me in shape, LOL.
On a fun note, last night I reunited with my amazing friend, Camilo. We walked and walked and talked and talked. Even though it was raining. It didn't really matter. We just kept walking. It was great. I think he will be my main companion and "escape", while I'm here. Today I ate lunch with my cousin Laura and my aunt Carmenza. I only had a few potatoes and the protein. Even thought they had rice and french fries. I said, " No Thank You!" I realize I am getting fuller faster. Really, I feel like its all in my head. I'm hungry at night, but I deal with it. Just because your brain sends the signal to your body that your hungry, doesn't mean you need to act on it. Thats the Beast talking to me. And these days I'm trying to bring out my Bell Beauty. So I go to sleep hungry, but I know that I'm nourished. Learning how to use food for its simple purpose, not abuse it. Unfortunately we need food to live. If I was addicted to Heroin or Coke or Cigarettes, I can leave them alone 100% and never have them in my life again. But food, you need. What an irony.
I miss my Mom. and I know shes with me everyday, but I miss seeing her smile and feeling her hug. and damn, its only day 4. My poor grandma is driving me crazy today. I literally get asked the same question about 15 times. Makes me wanna scream. All I can say is that by the end of it, I will be so much more of a patient person. She is my teacher.
Ok, I'm gonna go eat a little something and lay in bed with her watching TV. This morning we spent it reading in her bed. I started Pride and Prejudice, given to me by my sis-in-law.(another great supporter)
Oh also, my Dad calls me everyday. It fulfills me on a level I cant even explain. For this first time in my life, my Dad calls me everyday and I love it. So in love with the idea of becoming closer and closer to him.
Thank you guys for the great comments. I changed my settings so now anyone can comment without needing to be a google user or whatever.
Love n miss you guys back home. For those of you here with me, I'll see you soon.
Thank you for reading