Day 18 & 19

These last couple days have been a little slow. Yesterday I went for a little walk, but woke up with a headache and didn't want to push it since the day before I had felt like crap after my workout. The later part of the day was good. My aunt and uncle came and picked me up and ran some errands. It was really nice to get out of the house and socialize with some family. After dinner I went out with some cousins to a friend of their's house to play Wolf. Which was a very cool game. I enjoyed meeting new people and just the new experience. I met a girl, which she will know who she is when she reads this, who was super sweet. In the car she told me that she reads my blog. I was in shock!! This is the first time that I ever met this girl, and before she even met me, she was already having an understanding of my situation and my thoughts. I'm sure my cousin introduced her to this blog, but I felt so grateful. I had wondered if people that I didn't know were reading, and I guess that answered that question. Maybe this is my meal ticket. Not speaking money wise, but just being able to reach a broader audience with my story. I think its an interesting one. My idea is to pull back some of the layers on the thoughts of someone(many people) that lives my same struggle everyday. That have the same hopes and aspirations to reach serious transformational goals. This transformation isn't all about my weight. If that were the case, maybe things would be easier. Its about facing your demons. Loving yourself. Accepting yourself. Knowing your greatness. As my friend Linda so kindly tells me, my story helps her. Shes a very  healthy person, but many of these things can apply to everyone differently. As a child, I swear there should be a class on how to love yourself. Were never taught that. and if your catholic, your almost taught that you come last. That God is first. Well I say, we are all part of God. My way of connecting to God is by bettering my relationship with myself. Which actually means, putting my needs and interests before others. Its hard to be selfish. They put such a downer on selfish. Well, I'm here to say that Selfish is a really good thing. Obviously there are limits to it all, but if your not happy, how can you truly make anyone else happy. Or how can you be happy with anyone else. Your friends, your family, your kids.....we all can see it. Perception isn't always a conscious thing. But on an emotional level, its there. Put you first, and see how the dynamic of things start to change. For the better. Boundaries? Ha, I just learned what that meant a year ago. I thought that by having no boundaries, I would be loved more. WRONG!!!! I'm more respected and loved now, with boundaries, than I have ever been. and its because its part of taking care and loving yourself. Once you do that, without anyone knowing it, people begin to change in the way they treat you. and how they look at you. Despite your beliefs, despite your religion, just know how important YOU are. Never doubt that your presence on this earth, makes an impact.
Anyways, Today I woke up sick. From the second I opened my eyes I was sneezing like a mad woman. I went through a box of kleenex in an hour. It was a horrible attack. So I've been in bed sick today. I'm much better now, but still congested. For some reason, when I'm sick, I just want comfort food. I want hot dogs, hamburgers, french fries, chocolate cake, milk shakes, pizza and anything else with fat in it..but no no no no no....Guess that means changin the meaning of what comfort food means now. So very tough. Thats it for tonight. Gonna try and sleep this cold off. I get to pee in a jar all day tomorrow. Can't tell you how excited I am for that. LOL Gnite world.
Thanks for reading