Monday, April 22, 2013

From HEALTHY to SCULPTED month 4ish

So month 4 has been challenging. I haven't worked out as hard as usual. I went on vacation to Seattle, which vacations tend to disrupt routines usually. Just didnt see it possible, nor was the motivation there. The great news is that I'm back on the horse quicker than usual. Even 6 months ago, if I fell off, it would take a great while before I got back on . But I spent my Saturday night at the gym instead of going out partying and it felt great. It also felt great to wake up the next day sore. Was supposed to go biking on the lake but that didnt happen. I will be going today since it is almost 70 degrees out today. Then I have my training with Fredo at 8pm. So today will be a great, active day. I still try and push myself and I'm not happy until I see sweat dripping. lol There are still many positives. Its crazy to see how much not working out effects my emotional state of well being. Its now critical to it. Its all connected. If I dont workout, its much harder to maintain a peaceful state of mind. So its nice to have a new tool to use when anxiety comes upon me. Shows me that I've been able to create this habit for myself. If I dont workout, my body tells me about it and I listen, which has been very helpful.
I dont have too much to share besides the fact that I'm still on my way. Still getting stronger and feeling better about myself, daily. Everyday is a new start though. I know I gain emotional and mental strength, but there is still so much to work on. Maybe there always will be. I just pray for the strength to continue acquiring these healthy habits and thoughts that keep me smiling. I am my biggest challenge to overcome. Years of negativity and false beliefs have made life difficult. So not only am I working on my physical body, but also working very hard on the soul aspect of my essence. Keeping it sharp, replacing false beliefs with new, positive ones. Believing to be good enough for this world, has taken years of work. and I still have my difficult moments. At least their no longer full days of difficulty, were down to just moments of them..Which is definitely progress :)
I'm grateful today for my family and for my friends...and for my level of awareness to truly work on creating an individual that reflects the person I want to be. I pray to continue to have this level of faith, especially when I'm down. and I pray that I'm reminded daily that I'm a great individual...I forget so easily....we all do. We dont really know the true value of our worth and of who we are. Well, maybe Juan knows, lol, but I'm sure he even has his moments.
I'm grateful for him giving me the opportunity to reunite with  my family next month. A much needed, yearn, desired for moment. Cant wait!!!
Thank you for reading

Saturday, March 23, 2013

From HEALTHY to SCULPTED: Month 3ish

Hello world!
So its month 3, and I'm just strolling along..Today was the first time we did measurements since I've started the dedicated workouts. I've been consistently going to the gym for the past 3months and its feels pretty awesome. I now walk into the gym, and I know its a place where I belong. Even the smoothie girl knows exactly how I like my protein shakes. lol Its a very cool thing to overcome that sense of discomfort  that the gym can sometimes bring. I used to feel intimidated to walk into the weight area, where its generally all males working out. Now, I'm one of the few girls that just walks right in and claims a spot to work in. Yea, they stare..But I've learned to not care..Instead I've learned to be proud that I can feel comfortable in that situation and not really care what people are thinking. Alfredo and Jen really helped me jump that hurdle by forcing me to do crazy workouts that I wasn't necessarily the best at. Maybe there's a fear of not being able to do the workouts and that being viewed as "weak". and through that, I actually found a lot of "strength". Realize it takes some guts to just try. Then to perfect. A guy at the gym once compared how easy a workout looked when Jen did it, then how hard it looked when I did it...I'd be sweating bullets and Jen, barely breaking a sweat. At first I wanted to hurt him, lol. Then I just took at it as a starting mark to gage progress. That specific workout was doing alligator crawls. I'll have to post a pic or a video of what that looks like, but its hard as hell!! I couldn't even do it. I'd do a modified version, which I called froggies, move arms out, and bring legs to chest dragging a 10lb weight. I kept working on the modified version, then one day, I was told I could do I didn't believe I was strong enough. But I did them!! so I keep making marks of progress, which have kept me proud through all of this. So now that  I can almost do the whole hallway without stopping, I look back and remember what this guy once said, and I see how far I've come. I still drip sweat, but I keep going. I can deadlift 30lbs. I can do up to 25,"male"pushups in 30seconds. lol I know can run up to 6.0mph. and I've learned how to get sore all by  myself. lol My support team has been amazing. Even a new friend is on board with checking in to see that I've made it to the gym. I get asked for proof too. I have to send pics of  my running speed and all. lol Its nice
I didn't get weighed or measured until now because I really wanted to focus more on just the fact that I feel great and that I see progress in my strength and endurance. But today was a good reminder that I'm headed in the right direction. Since I started working out like I have, I have lost 13lbs and a total of 13inches all over my body...Which I'm very proud of. Its nice to see hard work pay off. and To see myself really create my reality as I see fit. I'm very excited and will continue on. Lets see what month 4 brings.
This Jen and I doing our routine 2 mile run before the boot camp begins..Love my Jen!! :)  Best workout buddy ever..I'm so grateful...and yes, per Juan's request, there will be many more pics to follow. But thought I'd at least introduce you to Jen!!

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

from HEALTHY to SCULPTED: Month 2ish

Well, things have definitely changed..working out and meal planning is officially a part of my life. Haven't gone under 5 days a week working out for the last month and besides the weekends, I'm cooking my meals regularly. I write down everything I eat, how many hours of sleep I'm getting and the times this is all happening at. I must say, that I've never witnessed this side of me. I think one of the downfalls from my surgery is that the results were so immediate, and gratifying, that I didn't have to do much to lose weight..Now, I work my ass off. I've never worked so hard in my life for anything. EVER. and I must say, I'm pretty impressed with what I can do. Jenny will set up an exercise for me, and I say, "no, I dont think I can do that." She says, "Yes, you can and you will." lol and guess what? I can and I do!! So its pretty cool to watch yourself improve, or get stronger, or be able to do a lil more each actually observe progress in yourself, is pretty gratifying.

I can now run 2miles straight before needing a break..I can run 2miles in 23min..thats my fastest time so far..On my cardio days, I run 3.5miles in 40min. yesterday I did Alligator crawls for the first time, which I thought would take me a couple more months to get to. I watch Jen do them, and I'm like, "yea, not yet". Its crazy to observe that the main reason of  being able to do or not do, is your own mind. I'm thankful these people believe I can do these things and push me to do them..It builds confidence..and heck, builds happiness too. By these people I mean Jenny and my trainer, lol :)  I'm starting to see a difference in the mirror..Nothing crazy, but things definitely jiggle a little less. haha. The scale is not my best friend right now and I've decided to measure my success in other ways. My clothes. the mirror. and most importantly, feeling great every time I set foot into that gym. Just following through with the commitment to myself is such a HUGE thing for me. Lately, the topic of 2013 has definitely all been about commitments and my fear of them. So this is actually a huge step, and its reflected in so many other areas of my life.

I also, voluntarily have decided to do a "wrong man" detox. lol I am making serious changes with my relationships with men. I've gotten rid of all the guys that simply are unworthy of my time. and the main logic behind that one, truly starting to practice what it is to have self-value. self -worth. self -love. Creating healthy boundaries for myself, and learning how to use the word, "No". haha I'm a people pleaser, and most of my life have put people's needs and wants before mine, but not anymore. I thought If I said yes to everything, you would like me more..Such a false belief..Turns out I'm full of false beliefs. So, had to start re-learning some new beliefs..More accurate ones. I come first now. Everything else comes second. I also think that maybe the lack of men is keeping me focused and in the gym and totally focused on be it. lol Regardless, 2013 has been a very HEALTHY year for me so far..Mentally, emotionally and physically. Their all connected, and I've abused them all. So, I'm enjoying working hard to never abuse them again.

 I'm very excited for this year, because I can feel that the power is within me to SCULPT my reality as I wish. Next month, I start my classes for teaching abroad..I also become a citizen of the USA this year..and I also will be obtaining a new job in a different place in the world. HUGE things coming my way...and I'm finally ready for them. I finally feel GREAT enough, to handle it all. FEAR no longer runs this ship. I wont be fooled. I know more tests and challenges are ahead. But after everything that I've overcome and achieved so far in my life, I feel ready to handle whatever life wants to throw at me. One step at a time. One breathe at a time. and thanks to Jen and my healer, Rebecca, I'm working more and more on acknowledging my successes and taking responsibility and pride in them..Remembering how brave I actually am. Brave to face my own demons, and replace them with LOVE.
Do you know how great you actually are? Do you ever acknowledge it? (Juan, this question is not for you, because I know you acknowledge it daily, as you should..haha)
Today, I am home within myself....There's no place like home.....I'm grateful
Thank you for reading. :)

Sunday, January 20, 2013

From HEALTHY to SCULPTED: Day-just today lol

Its been a little over a month since I've written anything, and it just seems unreal how time flies by. Last I wrote I was sick, which I continued to be for 3 weeks. Hadn't been sick like that in over 2.5 years. So dealt with not being able to workout those weeks. It was killing me. For the first time in my life I wanted to workout, but couldn't. Maybe sounds silly but I'd lay at night imagining myself run and do different routines. Somehow still visualizing myself as this healthy person that I am becoming. Throughout, I didn't eat horribly. I still cooked and a "friend" I was spending time with was supportive in the cooking and helping me watch what I ate. I was spending a lot of time with this "friend", so I have to mention him.
I had signed up for some training when I joined this gym, so after I was sick, I made my first appointment with my new trainer, Alfredo. I met him through a friend and he is simply awesome. When I weighed in, I had actually lost 5lbs. I was so excited since I had been so sick and unable to be active. I was proud that somehow I had been able to maintain a watch on my food intake. So we took measurements and had a great chat about my goals and how hes going to support me through my process. He also required me to start logging everything I eat. Times, what food and where the food is from. Needless to say that first week was a great moment of realization. My log needed some improving. That in itself has been motivating. The goal was to have a week, where I looked at the log and could say, "Yes, this is the way a healthy person eats". and so be it. Every week my log was improving. I was very honest on the log. Even when I shared a cookie with a friend for moral support. Haha..Or had some gummy bears at the movies.
Recently, I let go of my "friend". It was truly an unhealthy situation for me. A lot of realizations came to surface with that experience with him. I spent all of my holidays with him, since my family was in Colombia. Actually, these were the toughest holidays of my life. In general, 2012 was a very challenging year. First actual year without my family close by. Not really a place to call home, financial struggles, men challenges,etc etc. So far 2013, started with the end of many of those challenges. So I'm grateful for that aspect. I now feel like I'm "home" with my best friend Erika and her family. Their amazing for opening their doors to me. It's actually had a huge impact on my quality of life. That level of stability was really missing from my life.

The end was really on my 31st birthday...(Which if you dont know is also the birth of my  nephew, Marco Andres Ortiz. Not my literal nephew because nor my brother or sister  have kids. But, Jessica is like a sister to me, therefore, her son is my Sobrino.) The point is that on my birthday I realized I really needed to get out of this situation. By saying g'bye to this "friend", it gave me space to truly say hello to taking care of Ana. After a night of uncontrollable, ridiculous sobbing, I woke the next morning and decided that I would start focusing more on bettering myself in all ways and I would start by changing the way I eat drastically. I would only allow myself one carb a day and it would be a healthier choice of a carb. and that it would have to be eaten before 3pm to give myself that time to burn it. Then two days after that decision, I started chatting with  my old boss who used to run his own weight loss clinic. He recommended I read up on the Paleo Diet. The general gist of it is NO SUGAR. So focuses on protein, veggies and nuts. A "hunters and gatherers" type of eating. I haven't read up on it yet, but I have already started to make those adjustments. Now I'm not one to totally say g'bye to the foods that I love. But I do believe in a healthy ratio. Something to 90/10. Eat really healthy 90% of the time and indulge 10%. and even in the indulgences, they should still be healthier choices. Yesterday was a little out of my regime, but I'm ok with it. Had dinner with Alejo and family. Had yummy Pad Thai. I enjoyed every bite and did not feel guilty. I just put it towards my 10% and moved I'm not good with extremes of things. I believe in finding that balance that works for you. So because I eat one carb a day, there's no missing of that food group. So there's not that urge to binge on it. Week one has been easy and exciting. Trying to get creative and find ways to eat healthy and convenient. Never thought I'd be eating almonds and carrots the way I do now. lol  Saying no to sugar isn't easy. So I don't think of it as I CAN'T have it, just that I dont WANT it. Ridiculous how you have to trick yourself into these things. It feels really good to be taking care of myself the way that I am. Alfredo and Jenny have been great support systems through all of it. I'm grateful.
2013 has also surfaced new a couple new personal challenges..This x "friend" helped surface topics such as, "where the hell is my self-esteem?" and "what the hell is so scary about making and keeping commitments?" . That's a totally different blog that I will be starting soon, but in the meantime, I just wanted the people that follow here to know that I'm still on track. I don't know my total loss yet, but I can see it in the mirror and I can feel it. So I know the numbers are going in the right direction. :)
Wishing everyone a love-filled day and here's wishing that 2013 bring many, many rewards.
Thank you for reading.
Pics coming soon!!!