Hello all,
Today is a bit weird. I couldn't sleep last night until 1am. My grandmother had a Dimensia attack and was very confused and aggressive. She was crying and yelling and I had to calm her down. So today, I'm super tired. So I'll be honest and say that I ate breakfast at 11am. Way too late because lunch is at 130pm. So I feel weird today. I feel off. Like I cant get it together right. I know I'll go for a walk today, but I have a family event at 5pm. I set up a personal training appointment tomorrow at 4pm. So excited! Not to mention I have this blog now. Yes, I'm sure you saw I wrote Day 1, 2 & 3 all in one day. Whatever right? I kept it all seperate in my mind for a reason. LOL. Today will be short. Just wanted to share that today is with effort. As expected. But I'm still motivated. I'm still dedicated. I can feel it. It feels very different from being home. Some may ask why I had to fly 1,000 miles to fly to do all of this. It was all symbolic for me. Flying in the plane to come here, was as if I was leaving it all behind. Letting go of whatever it is I feel so afraid of by losing my weight. My weight has been my coping mechanism during hard times. In times of lonliness and in times of depression. Food has been my friend. More of a trader really. Its deceived me in many occasions. So rude. LOL. So its more about becoming aware and taking control of myself. Being aware of my breathing has been helpful.
My uncle Guillermo(William) is here now and he is so cute. He pulled out pen and paper to start a grocery list of healthy foods that we have to buy.
My last thought for today is how grateful I am to feel so much love and support from my family and friends. Its simply amazing. I am truly blessed and will forever be in debt to all of my friends and family for all the overwhelming feeling of LOVE. I love you all unconditionally.
Thank you for reading.
I need to state that I offered you HEALTHY HOME MADE FOOD, with the WRONG idea that you wouldn't eat FAST/JUNK FOOD.
ReplyDeleteLove and Light
lumtt
Oh mom, your so funny. No need to clarify. You simply are. I wouldn't want you any other way.
ReplyDeleteLUMTT
Those days that take more EFFORT... those are the tough days!!! It's refreshing to read someone else put it into words so easily... "SO today I feel off and everything is taking a bit more effort... but it's worth the struggle... and I will work hard to do what needs to be done!"
ReplyDeleteFood was my enemy over the weekend. Fri-Sat were tough. Where did I turn? THE FRIDGE!!! Thank you for sharing, because it helps me to view these moments for what they truly are. A promise wrapped with a lie... the promise that the food will make me feel better... the lie that it wont count later...
Trish