Day 1

So here I am. Thousands of miles away from what is my "comfort zone". Here to share my difficult and exciting journey with all of you. Whoever may be the ones to read this. I promise to be as honest and raw with every entry that comes.
My name is Ana and I'm 29 years old. I have been overweight since about the age of of 8 or so. I have struggled with hundreds of crazy diets that have never worked. If they worked they were always temporary. What's a diet anyways? In my mind a diet is something that dramatically changes your eating habits. There is a beginning and theres always an end. No wonder they don't work for everyone. You hope that through the diet, you learn new habits and eventually catch on to them so when the diet "ends", you have aquired a new way of eating. In the meanwhile dealing with suffering and torture because all you can think about is that damn chocolate cake you crave for so much, or the taste of warm bread in your mouth. However "bad" those foods are, they bring so much pleasure. This has never worked for me. Thats why, sadly, I sit here typing weighing 222.5lbs. I cant believe I just wrote those numbers. I'm 4'11 so I'm very short. My body is not equipped to carry around so much weight. I promised myself I would never weigh this much. I've broken many promises to myself. Interestingly though, if you were my best friend, I'd keepy any promise. So maybe thats it. I'm not my own best friend. Is that the solution to it all? To fall in love with Ana? To become someone I adore as I do to my friends and family. Have more respect for myself as I also do with friends and family. I'm excited to find out.
So I live in Chicago, but received an offer I couldn't refuse. On Dec 25th, 2010 my mom, brother and sister-in-law sat me down and told me that my whole family had come together to provide me with any and all of the support necessary to finally reach my healthy weight goals.(Which is 120lbs) All of my family including all of my loved ones in Colombia, South America. Where the majority of my family, including my Dad, lives. Here was the offer: To fly to Colombia for approximately 3 months to focus on weight loss. Including gym subscription, nutritionist, extra classes such as yoga, dance and pilates, as well a Coach. A coach is not psychologist, not a therapist, not an analyzer. More of a guide, a support, a listener, a friend. Also in the offer was weight loss surgery. I have an aunt who had the Gastric Bypass who in a year lost around 140lbs. She looks amazing. The surgery was always something very controversial for me and I was always against it. Until now. Sometimes educating yourself on things is all it takes to change your opinion. Or someone's great story. I always considered it "the easy way out".  Easy for some reason was never attractive. Somehow suffering and torture always had to be part of the mix. I think us as humans, we have this need to feel pain. If we dont feel pain it just doesnt mean as much. Let me tell you, PAIN, I know very well. I've come face to face with it many and many and many times again. I've taken steps by doing so, but its never brought me true satisfaction. To get through the pain is amazing. But my new perspective is that not everything great in life has to hurt so badly.
So here I am. In my grandmother's living room in Colombia. A month and some change after the offer was put on the table. I'm here. I'm dedicated. and I'm sharing it with you.
Thank you for reading.