Day 30,31&32

Its been a couple of days since I last wrote. I apologize and need to be more up to date. Day 30(Wed) the Drs office called and asked if I could come in that day instead of Thurs or Fri....ummmmm hell yea. So I went. A little nervous of what it was all going to feel like getting the stitches taken out and especially the tube. So my Aunt Marcela came with me in case I needed someone to hold my hand. He took a look at me and said that everything looked awesome. That I´m an "exceptional patient". That people dont normally heal at my speed and that usually there is definitely some pain. Well, I feel none really. My main complaint was that tube. So he warns me that its not pleasant to take it out. So I breathed and took my mind to my happy place. Which is an abandonded beach where its just me walking up and down in a red bikini super, super happy. I love red, so I guess thats why I automatically have a red bikini. lol. I definitely felt the stitches come out from my belly button. Those were not pleasant at all because he had to pull the stitch so he can cut it since it was so far down there. Then the moment I had prepared so much for was done before I knew it. I think I actually was there in that beach and when the Dr said "done", I couldn´t believe it. He shows me the tube that was inside and it was like 8 or 9 inches long. I was a bit shocked by that. I got dressed and sat down and my blood pressure dropped like crazy. Thought I was going to faint. Super hot and sweaty and dizzy. He told me I looked like a ghost. I relaxed and  he gave me some green tea and I was fine after a while. He weighed me and I have lost significantly. From Monday to Thursday I had lost 6 pounds. I was pleased with that. Its a lot, so I just have to make sure I´m getting the nutrients I need. He gave me the ok to travel and to workout. I cant lift weights or anything heavy, but I´m to walk. and walk a lot. So thats what I´ve been doing. He said its a good idea to see the other Dr before I leave for Garzon(town where my dad lives) just to see if its time to adjust my blood pressure pills or even to suspend them all together. So it feels great to feel normal. I still have gauze on the hole where the tube was, which will heal within the week. Since I´m a quick healer, the hole is already closed but I am mainting it covered until I see more scabs form. Just to be safe. I´m so excited for next weekend. My brother and sis in law are coming to visit and I´m getting out of Bogota for some time. I´m going to take advantage and spend about 3 weeks with my Dad. The longest we´ve spent together as an adult. and as a new relationship that him and I are both working on. I´m sure you´ll hear much more about that while I´m there. For now I have come to stay with my uncle Guillermo and aunt Marcela. It is so much more peaceful here and comfortable. I actually feel wanted here and very loved. My aunt cooks delicous so the soups I have been eating have been so delicous. I do have to stay the difficulty of it all has begun. I still eat every 2 hours so I´m not that hungry really, but sitting at a table where people are eating mashed potatoes is not easy.(my absolute favorite food ever) I have to breathe and remind myself this is for a greater purpose and that my soup is yummyyyy!!!! lol  and really soon I will be able to eat anything I want. Just very small amounts of it. More has started to fit in my stomach which is a good sign, so that I can fully nourish myself. Obvioulsy the amounts that I eat are significanlty less, which is huge, but what I´m really greatful for is that I dont have that killer appetite that I used to have. Its definitely helpful. Today my cousin Pedro came to visit me and brought me a delicious popsicle. and he started reading some things based on illnesses with their emotional connection. Today I have had horrible allergies, so he read that allergies are related to intolerable perfectionism. Oh shit! lol It made sense to me. I am always so hard on myself for things. He asked me what am I afraid of, and I said, failure. Failure of many things, but it was interesting to notice that I think I´m afraid of failure out of habit, not because I´m really afraid of failing at the weight loss and transformatin because I´m so sure that this is it. and especially because I have already been so damn successful. On many many levels. I feel constantly loved lately, and its because I give it to myself and accept that, therefore people are starting to show it more to me as well. Its pretty cool to witness. Its a breath of fresh air, really. I´m grateful I can feel myself loving me everyday and that I haven´t felt the emotion of guilt in a long, long time. Guilt is exhausting, while love is fulfilling.
I miss home. and I consulted with my Dr, thinking that I think its a good idea to go home earlier than expected. I feel that if I am physically ok and capable, that I would like to get home and start implementing my new routine and habits into my daily life. He agreed and said it was a very intelligent idea. Thats really where my main challenges will start to appear. Here I´m very spoiled. I haven´t cooked a day yet. So I know I have to start getting into the habit of preparing my breakfast and my lunches because eating out is no longer an option. At this point, my body would reject nor do I have any interest in dancing with the devil. So there is a lot to get home too. Even back to work. I miss work. I miss that level of productivity. So I see the Dr again on April 8th and that day will be decided when I can leave. Something tells me I´ll be home by April 18th. Dont ask why, thats just my instinct. I will keep you guys updated and sorry but I have no pics today.
Good bless everyone effected by this Tsunami, its absolutely crazy.
Thank you for reading