Day 71-74

So its been a week back home and I feel much more settled. I'm finding it harder and harder to write. To stop things and sit down and write. But its crazy, even though I go a couple of days without writing, I think about it all the time. Making mental notes of things I want to make sure I share with you. So being home has been great. I made the list and did all the groceries I want and need for myself. I have been working on organizing my clothes. Getting rid of clothes that dont fit and taking out old clothes that didnt fit before and need to see where I stand with them. Now that warm weather is supposed to be coming soo, I'm excited to strut clothes I haven't been able to. So I totally went back on my word and weighed myself. I was very happy with the numbers but for right now I will not be sharing where I stand with my weight loss. An important mile stone is very close and when I reach it, I will share that with you. I was able to find a gym with a pool at a really good price. Excitingly, its the same gym as my brothers. So from time to time, we will be able to go together. I'm sure as I go along, I could use his helping hand. It is also the same as Sarah's gym, which is great for when I'm at her place. I've mentioned before that I know the more support I have, the better.  I have lost a significant amount of weight and everytime I look at myself in the mirror, I giggle. I think part of it is out of delight and another part is out of disbelief that this is how I look now. Regardless, it makes me giggle and I enjoy it. But I'm also noticing that my skin is a bit flabby, and that is the opposite of what I'm aiming for. I can tell the difference now between just skin and fat. It feels different. Sometimes I think I have new skin all together, so sometimes it feels very  new.  So that tellsts also me that I need more gym time. Excited to start swimming soon and to start some sort of dancing classes. I bought a huge eraser board to hang in my room so I can write all the amazing things I want to do. Short term and long term. One of them is to find a stable to volunteer at. I have a serious adoration for horses and a wise friend told me that I need to learn how to speak "horse" This wise friend also inspired the huge eraser board. Something you constantly look at and update. Something to constantly remind me of the things I'm striving for and towards. I'm also interested in learning a new language. Possibly Italian or German. We'll see.
Everything with the food has been going good. Totally on a seafood kick right now. Loving tuna, crab, fish and shrimp. Turkey is the only meat I'm eating right now. Its so funny. I go through serious food phases. I think I'm ready for sushi. I haven't had sushi in about 5 years and I'm starting to crave it. When I lived in California, I ate it all the time. When I moved, I stopped. So I go through weird phases of foods I love and cant live without and food I cannot even think about without gagging. So weird.
I have had great reunions since I got back and everybody's reaction has been so great. There was a point where I would reject compliments, now I'm all about accepting them. Its nice to come back and truly feel like a different person and also be perceived in that way as well. Definitely a break through.
I miss my family in Colombia. Miss their presence. Altough being home is amazing, the daily obstacles dont seem to disappear. Co-living with people is simply not easy. I cannot wait for the day that I can live alone and independant. Living at home with my mom and step dad in the end is a huge help and a blessing, but its not easy. I have to work hard mentally to keep the peace within my mind. My favorite mantra has been extremely helpful. "Nobody nor nothing can take  the peace, that I have decided to create for myself, away....unless I allow them/it to". It definitely helps in challenging moments. I know it is not correct grammar, but I translated. I repeat half in Spanish and half in English, LOL
My mom is throwing me a "Welcome Home" lunch on Saturday. Looking forward to it because I will see more family and friends that I haven't been able to see. I'm on a mission to see the people I want while I'm not working yet. They are waiting for a release from my Dr in order to allow me to begin working. I cannot wait to start working. Hopefully sometime next week is possible. I'm with Sarah these next couple of days, helping her watch the little one. Lil Ari is my favorite.
Last note, my mind, heart and body are still alligned. Every day I wake up and ask myself, am I balanced? I am fully aware that if I'm feeling down, it will reflect in all areas. So I work hard to switch whatever thought process might be causing the negative feelings in order to keep that "balance". Its everything.
Thank you for reading.