Day 55&56

So I'm back in Bogota now. I said my g'byes and it was really hard to leave my Dad. I wish we could've had more time together. More farm and machete time. LOL 2 weeks is just getting past the icing on the cake. I want to one day get to the core. I have so many questions. Many topics I want to touch, but maybe I need to get to know him better before I be so forward with him. I dont want to cross boundaries or relive painful memories for someone who doesnt want to. Although, I'm notorious for that. Maybe I'm a masochist. Well, I kinda am. but maybe thats too much info for you. LOL No, but somehow reliving and reminiscing on difficult times in my life, makes me realize that I'm a soldier. That I have survived many emotional, painful tornadoes within my own mind and heart. So maybe I enjoy sharing it out loud as being proud that I overcame it. And I realize that by sharing, I touch lives and maybe even inspire a little. But not everyone is like me. Many people live with regrets, die with regrets. I dont think I have any. If you had to do it over again, and you would do it a little differently, does it mean you regret it? Part of living is learning, so I dont regret doing the things that I have done, but they werent always the smartest. They were pretty fun for the majority of it, LOL All in its due time. My cousin says maybe there are questions that arent meant to be asked. and thats true. But I'm way too curious. I'm more of a "lets just ask and if goes wrong I'll apologize later" kind of person. LOL I was sharing the fact of how curious I am about the way things went down before and during my life between my parents. Also curious about my brother Luis. He is not always the easiest topic to bring up. But I have definitely learned a lot more about his childhood being here. I'm like an open book. Many people are very reserved, and really I dont think there is a question that I wont answer. I may not always be the most comfortable, but I'll answer it. Good example is tonight at dinner in front of family, my funny cousin decides to ask me if I own a vibrator. Ummmm. My only hesitation was that my aunt was there. Too funny.  I figure the more I share, the better I feel to be so free and honest and in the end, the easier you get to know me. and vice versa.
I'm upset because I  cant find my thumb drive to transfer pics. I have a few to share with you guys and cant find the way to download them. Hopefully its somewhere in my suitcase.  These last couple of days, since I got back have truly been great. I have had amazing company and I have had amazing conversations. I dont want it to end. I can talk to my one cousin all night. I truly enjoy conversing with someone who challenges my thinking and thought process in general. Not only that, but he has qualities that I aspire to aquire one day. Its enviable. So worry free and simply happy. Theres nothing complicated about him. (not that I have found yet at least, lol)Nothing bothers him. I asked him what things in life make him happy, and he answers, "buying a chocolate bar every once in a while". LOL  Not the profound answer I was looking for, but thats him. Simple. Its admireable and inspiring. I truly appreciate every moment spent. So thank you!
Today I started a cooking class which was absolutely awesome. It got me excited to get in the kitchen and try out healthy recipes. Cool recipes for healthy bread, healthy butter, taboule, falafels and this fantastic apple and cinnamon dessert. Not only the food, but she talked a lot about the things I am already integrating into my life. Eating slowly, eating by using all 5 of yours senses. Using food as your meditation. So it was very cool to have something to identify with. Its only a 2 day course. So Today and Thursday. Tomorrow is my follow up visit with my Dr. We'll see what the next step is, if there is one. Everything has gone so well, the only thing I can think of is some blood work to check my nutrition levels.  Its hard to fully nutriate(is that a word?) your body when you cant eat all that much. But I'm excited to see him and for him to see my progress. At which point I will decide my return date and start searching for tickets. Besides tomorrow, I'm going to follow my cousin's advice and not weigh myself for a while. I realize it frustrates me and I think it takes the focus off of what really matters and thats, that I feel pretty awesome. So I'll keep you updated and hopefully find my thumb drive so I can post some fun pics.
Thank you for reading